It's Never Too Early and It's Never Too Late: Embracing Preconception, Birth, and Mindful Parenting Work at Any Age and Stage
In the pursuit of our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, we often forget the power of fertility and parenting as absolute pillars for personal growth. We may think that because babies aren’t on our radar yet, or perhaps because our children are fully grown, that the realms of preconception and conscious parenting work aren’t for us.
The truth is, it's never too early and it's never too late to start focusing on these crucial aspects of our lives. In this article, we will explore the value of preconception work for vibrant health, the significance of learning about mindful parenting to heal our wounds, and the lifelong journey of healing and growth that awaits us all, no matter our age.
Me, Age 9
Preconception Work: Fertility and Vibrant Health
The journey to parenthood often begins long before conception. Preconception work is an essential aspect of ensuring not only a healthy pregnancy but also a foundation for vibrant health throughout life. Focusing on your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being can have a profound impact on your fertility, regardless of whether you plan to have children or not.
Although I’ve always wanted to have babies in this life, I actually started delving into specific preconception work around the age of 26 when I was practicing celibacy. Although I was closed to the possibility of meeting my person and deeply working on myself at the time, I had the epiphany that preparation for conception technically starts at our own birth, whether we like it or not. Making conscious choices surrounding generating optimal fertility was a gift to give not only my future children but also myself: right here, right now. Little did I know I wouldn’t be calling in my life partner until 5 years later, but the work I did then and continued to do in the realm of preconception actually aligned me with my values and was a big part of how and why I was able to call in my man.
It's never too early to start making lifestyle choices that promote optimal health, such as incorporating a nutrient-dense diet, engaging in regular physical activity, managing stress, and fostering strong emotional connections. These practices will not only enhance your fertility but also contribute to a healthier and more fulfilling life overall.
“But I’m done having children!” — the beauty of living a life driven by fertility is that our fertility is about thriving in our human bodies. Reconnecting with this aspect of our body is self-care. Reproductive health is a pillar of women’s health; whether or not you want or are done having babies, a fertile body is a healthy body. This also applies to post-menopausal women! The habits and lifestyle that encourage fertility aren’t providing benefits exclusive to having children. You are a living, breathing, self-regenerating being! Our cells are always regenerating, and in many ways, we are in a constant process of re-birth.
Birth as an Initiation
Birth work is the bridge between pre-conception and mindful parenting, and it is the initiation we go through, the portal that catapults us into the next iteration of our life. Like any initiation, how you prepare for it and experience it will dictate how you engage with the next chapter. A liberated, empowered, wild pregnancy and free birth create a different kind of mother than a fearful, medicalized, and sedated birth. Our power as women is to explore the themes of our red thread and heal the transgenerational wounds before we experience the wound passed down through our maternal line.
Living a conscious life means exploring the patterns we engage with unconsciously and asking yourself: “is this serving my highest good?” When it comes to the unconscious fears surrounding our fertility, sexuality, womanhood, pregnancies, and birth stories: I can firmly say no. The time is now to reclaim sovereignty and power in these realms.
Doing this work after having traumatic births is retroactively healing. We store our past in our bodies, and it’s never too late to learn about the ways of the wild woman.
Diving into Preconception and Birth Work
There are a few resources that have inspired me along my path. The book I picked up years ago when I started my pre-conception journey is called Brighton Baby a Revolutionary Organic Approach to Having an Extraordinary Child by Roy Dittman.
Since then, I have also taken the Free Birth Society’s Complete Guide to Freebirth. This course is phenomenal to sit with the reality that birth is a physiological process that as a woman, you innately know how to do. This course, paired with regular listening to their Free Birth Society Podcast, is a great combination for reclaiming this portal that birth is. Whether you haven’t birthed yet or have wounds surrounding your birthing experience, the course and podcast offer incredible wisdom to help you reconnect with your inner wild and liberated woman.
Free Birth Society also offers a preconception course called Conscious Conception. Doing this work well ahead of time can help you clarify who you are and which partner you call in to take this journey with you.
Another vital book to reconnect with your inner wild woman is Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estés,
Mindful Parenting: A Journey of Healing and Growth
While the concept of mindful parenting may seem distant for those who have not yet embarked on the journey of parenthood, it's essential to recognize that it's never too early to start learning about and practicing mindful parenting techniques. At its core, mindful parenting involves cultivating awareness, empathy, and non-judgmental communication in our interactions with our children.
However, the practice of mindful parenting is not limited to those with children. We all have an inner child that may be carrying unresolved emotional wounds from our own upbringing. By learning about and implementing mindful parenting principles, we can begin the process of healing and re-parenting our wounded inner child, creating a more secure and loving foundation for ourselves and our future children.
Integrating the Lessons of Mindful Parenting
As with any new skill, it takes time and practice to integrate the lessons of mindful parenting into our daily lives. Starting this journey early, even before becoming a parent, allows you the opportunity to deeply understand and embody these principles. By doing so, you are better equipped to create a nurturing and supportive environment for your future children, promoting their emotional well-being and resilience.
Never Too Late for Mindful Parenting and Growth
The beauty of personal growth and self-discovery is that it's never too late to evolve and transform our lives. If you're already a parent or even a grandparent, it's not too late to study and practice mindful parenting techniques. Embracing these principles at any stage of life can profoundly improve your relationships with your children, regardless of their age.
Embarking on the path of mindful parenting can help heal old wounds and foster a deeper connection with your children, creating a more authentic and healthy family dynamic. It's never too late to make a positive impact on your family and your own personal growth.
Diving into Mindful Parenting Work
My go-to in this realm is Ashleigh Warner. She is a true expander of mine in the realm of conscious parenting. She provides invaluable content on her Instagram @raisinghumanskind. I also interviewed Ashleigh on my Becoming Fully Human podcast, which you can listen to below.
Doing this Work to Call in the Right Partner
If you’re not convinced yet that fertility and mindful parenting work is fruitful at any age, I’ll share one last thought.
Doing this work years before meeting my partner enabled me not only to call him in, but it also allowed by to be ultra clear on the fact that he is the right partner for me. Too often, women explore the themes of conception, birth, and parenting after meeting their partner. The problem with this is that how we birth and parent is rooted in a values system that is, for many, a non-negotiable reality. When we run into values conflicts after already falling “in love” we are more likely to self-abandon to keep the partnership alive.
Figuring out what matters to you in the realms of fertility, birth, and in parenting can enable you to date consciously and with clarity. Knowing who you are and what you want is the bedrock of dating. Showing up authentically and allowing the right person who aligns with your vision for the future requires knowing yourself and your vision for the future. By doing this work you can navigate the process of finding the right fit for you with more ease and grace.
The journey towards vibrant health, healing, and personal growth is a lifelong process that transcends age and life circumstances. By embracing the principles of preconception work and mindful parenting, we can create a more nurturing and supportive environment for ourselves, our children, and our future generations. Remember, it's never too early and it's never too late to embark on this transformative journey of becoming.
